Everyone loves a parade. It’s fair to say that, more often than not, good times will be had due to the heightened festive atmosphere. Depending on where you are, you can expect music, excessive amounts of food, questionably-dressed chubby men, and floats. My God, the floats: obnoxiously decorated, and mounted by loud and in your face parade-goers throwing beads and/or candy at you. And you will cheer, whether it be out of the pure five-year-old-within-you’s joy that bursts forth at seeing another float parade, or the fact that you’re hoping, either unabashedly or quietly to yourself, that they crash “Animal House” style, minus Kevin Bacon. Please get that reference.
Now, I must admit, upon hearing that this year’s Elizabethtown College homecoming parade’s float theme was cartoon characters, I was of the former party of cheerers. I can’t lie: any combination of the thought or sight of my childhood cartoons reduces me to a squealing pile of smiles, laughs and quoted Bugs Bunny lines, and that was what I was banking on seeing this year. I would have walked in procession with the entire parade, had I had the opportunity to see a Looney Tunes float, followed by Otto Rocket and the gang, and finally, I would have patiently waited for the straggler (there’s always one), of the Recess-themed float because it’d be that worth it. But no.
No, for I have been informed that due to something people call “copyright infringement,” we cannot have our Looney Tunes-apalooza this year. What we get is “Famous Moments in History.” A class of 2014 senate representative put it best: “First of all, the new theme is so much less fun than the old one.” Even writing it down now, I’m nodding, and I swear upon anything that there is no more eloquent way to say that. Daffy Duck is infinitely more entertaining than Napoleon Bonaparte ever was or ever will be, but we will get by with what we’ve been given.
After having gathered a bit of information on which floats will be going head-to-head, I think it makes sense to zero in on the classes of 2012, 2013, 2014, because if we’re being honest, you first-years don’t stand a chance. First up, the perennial champions of the parade, our seniors, class of 2012: if any of you are privy to the smash-hit Disney Channel program “Even Stevens,” you’ll know that we went to the moon in 1969, and the seniors have chosen to recreate that magical moment for us via float. Senior Hannah Desmond says that the seniors chose this particular event to show, “how America pioneered the way for space and technology with the epic space voyage.” If anything, the seniors should win this year because of their good intentions.
I must preface this by admitting my bias toward my own class, but I believe the showdown at the parade this year will be between the juniors and sophomores, due to their related float ideas. Class of 2013’s Olympic Moments, versus 2014’s Miracle on Ice. If we’re talking significant U.S. Olympic moments, and we are, I find it hard to believe that the juniors didn’t have the 1980’s Lake Placid showdown between the hockey teams of the U.S. and U.S.S.R. in mind, and I can only imagine the looks of deep-seeded hatred and rage that will come over the sophomores on the day of the parade if they see their hockey glory stolen from them. One can only hope that, in keeping with the nature of the sport, there is a brawl. All in all, it should be a great day for everyone because, again, everyone loves a parade.
