The Jayded Edge

Steve Lawley
Staff Writer

Next Time Use a Brick
   ORLANDO, Fla. - Lonnie Shields, a 37-year-old, attempted to gain entry to the New City Mart at 2 a.m. on Feb. 2, but his virtually flawless plan was foiled when he got stuck in the oven vents atop the store. The would-be burglar was rescued when store employees arrived around 8 a.m. Shields faces charges of burglary and was booked in Orange County Jail on a $1,000 bond.
I'm Sorry Officer, I Didn't Know I Couldn't Do That
   SAYAMA, Saitama - Yoshiaki Kobayashi, a 42-year-old, was arrested for mail fraud when he shoved chocolate ice cream into a mailbox in front of Shin-Sayama Station. Kobayashi admitted to the allegations and offered in his defense that "[he] was frustrated because [his] job was not going well. [He] wanted to vent [his] anger." Meanwhile, investigators continue to interrogate Kobayashi over his alleged involvement in four other cases in which ice cream and liquid soap were poured into mailboxes near the scene and other mail items were damaged.
Forgot His Green Hat and Pants and Shirt and Socks and ...
   Ocoee, Fla. - Nicholas Botero was arrested after officers in a patrol car spotted him jogging naked on a road, according to a police report. Police said the man was spotted by a motorist while jogging nude on the West Orange Trail in Ocoee at about 8:45 a.m. last week. The curious motorist immediately called police and followed Botero to the Forrest Trails subdivision. Botero was apprehended and was subsequently charged with indecent exposure of sexual organs, disorderly conduct, loitering and prowling.
Blow-Out Car Deal Takes on Whole New Meaning
   Miami, Fla. - Gerald Georgettis, a disgruntled Ford owner, drove his brand new Escape through the Dade County Metro Ford showroom window, poured gasoline all over it and set it ablaze. The fire caused nearly $1 million in damage. When Georgettis was brought in for questioning, he mentioned that it was ultimately the price of the car which had set him - and the showroom - off.

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